Stupid People in Society
Written by Aric Schroeder, Former Student on Wednesday, December 2, 2015
This article is a satirical piece.
Have you ever been on Facebook and saw someone write something so stupid it’s cringe-worthy? Or personally see someone act in a manner of such utter ignorance and deserve to be slapped every once in a while? Unfortunately we all deal with these people every single day. We all know who they are. Those people that try to haggle at McDonalds. . . on the dollar menu. The people who base all their arguments saying “I saw it on a documentary.” Politicians in general. People who stop to have a conversation on the stairs. People who randomly stop walking in front of you. Bicyclists. People who put dogs in clothing. People who put dogs in purses. Overly gullible people.
Kim Kardashian, congratulations! You have qualified as your own category.
Then there are the people who lie about having diseases. People who brag about how sporty they are. Aggressive lane changers without a turn signal. We're looking at you Mercedes/BMW drivers. Hypocrites. Stupid people calling people stupid. People who return a half-full Starbucks coffee. People who order coffee with more words than the dictionary and with specifications more complicated than a cookbook. People who sue because there wasn’t a label of the temperature on the extra hot coffee they ordered when they burn themselves. People who get offended because there is a Christmas tree in the vicinity. People who get all their political information on Twitter/Facebook. People who read something on the internet then present it as fact without fact checking. People who think Africa is a country. People who are ignorant about their own country. Communists. People who don’t wear deodorant—yes, we know who you are… and where you are.
People who watch Jerry Springer for relationship advice (guilty as charged). 16 and Pregnant. People who have their underwear visible and their pants below their waist. No, it’s not attractive. People who say they drift all the time. People who use the word “baby daddy.” Kanye West. “My girlfriend lives in another state.” People who Photoshop abs on themselves. People who post pictures of themselves shirtless and flexing on Facebook. People who leave their half-full soda on the sidewalk. People who find and drink that soda. Homeless people who steal shopping carts. People who vote for people that they know nothing about. People who dress in pajamas and flip flops to school just because.
Ppl wh0 f1nd w4ys to abbrv. 3vry wrd while t3xting. Gives you a headache doesn’t it?
People who find excuses for being incredibly lazy 24/7. Hoarders. People who speak during a moment of silence—again, we know who and where you are. People who spit on the ground every five seconds. Parents who act like their child is better and more deserving than other children. Grown men wearing childish Disney cartoon clothing. Smokers. Racists. Philosophers. People who get a degree in gender studies. People who wear four or more articles of clothing of the same brand, i.e. Nike. People who drink energy drinks for their breakfast every morning. People who complain that their parents don’t give them enough money—get a job, hippy. People who have their hair covering their eyes and face. People who think our president is the ultimate savior of the world. People who want guns banned, yet have armed bodyguards. People with the audacity to blow and pop bubbles in a silent room with others. People who put their feet on the back of your seat in movie theaters. Facial tattoos. People who cannot remember a lie they have told, creating another lie to mask the previous lie—lieception. Passengers who mess with the driver’s stereo system. This list continues because there are people that sadly fuel the stupid.
In society, this has become so common that people have become oblivious to this behavior—some even adopt it themselves, slowly evolving it into a social norm. Stupidity is not something that belongs in society, which is why people must be enlightened. We must unite and fight back against the ferocious beast that is stupidity, which consumes all of us every day as we go on. We must take a stand. The only way to fight the stupid is to not be stupid. All this being said, I know that all my ranting and rhetoric is no use. Stupidity has always prevailed and will continue to do so, so long as there are stupid people. People try to resolve real world ‘grown up’ problems such as terrorism or national debt, but the greatest, most prominent problem of them all is infiltrating us every day—and doing a good job too is stupidity. This is perhaps the greatest issue that has gone unsolved by mankind.
To all of my friends and people who know me personally—I am well aware of how stupid I am.
Note*-- If you fall under any of these categories, congrats! You’ve qualified as a stupid person. You are not alone. Some may say they take up the majority of the world.
