Christmas is Always Too Early
Written by Brandon Michaud, Former Student on Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Everyone has to experience the yearly joy of Christmas starting months too early. Every single year, everyone collectively complains about the same thing. Why do stores put up Christmas decorations before Christmas? I believe it is because the stores are against us….illuminati.
The Fred Meyers in our lovely town of Snohomish has been sporting Christmas since early October. October! I had not even stopped screaming from the zombie naked mole rat the size of a human jumping at me from a tree, and I already have to deal with the relentless joy that so few people actually feel during Christmas. Some stores, including Costco, have Christmas decorations and preparations as early as August. That is way too early to be thinking about the many stresses that are Christmas. If I’m playing with a beach ball, I would rather not have a candy cane smack me in the face. It would be a pretty abrupt change of mind.
I cannot stand all the joy and happiness that comes with this holiday. It is so overwhelming that people have to start getting ready in August. Do people really enjoy Christmas this much?The fact that people find joy out of spending money on something that does not matter to give to someone else is slightly aggravating. Why do people feel this need to purchase an item to show their appreciation of another person? You could show that appreciation in so many other ways. We should be getting more creative to truly show how we feel about one another. You hate someone, give them a flaming piece of poo on their front porch to stomp out. You love someone, give them the greatest day they have ever had, or will say they’ve had in a long time. I know this is a gift technically, but at least it’s not a remote control car that they are going to get bored of in a week.
Maybe stores put Christmas things out early to try and get children excited to pick out what they want their parents to spend endless dollars on. Maybe it’s because the stores want us to be in an endless cycle of stress because Christmas is one of the most stressful times of year. I figure that the stores figure that they can milk Christmas for all it is any time of year because apparently tradition is a cow. A cow that tramples other people on Black Friday just for a good deal. Maybe in the future, other consumers will feel the same as me, and stop feeding the beast of business. Maybe we can actually have a Halloween without looking at Christmas. On that day, consumers all over the country, including myself, will bask in true joy.
