No More "Boys Will Be Boys"
Written by Eyonna Mason, Former Student on Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Last week, an anti-street harassment group called HollaBack released an awareness video following a woman around on the streets of NYC, being catcalled for hours. In order to discuss such a controversial ad, CNN’s Fredricka Whitfield brought in comedian Amanda Seales and Steve Santagati, the author of “The MANual”, a dating guide for men. During this touchy interview, Santagati went so far as to say, "there is nothing more that a woman loves to hear than how pretty she is” to try to validate cat calling. Because clearly, Santagati, all women do is dress up to impress men. Santagati is an example of what men, in general, have become today: immoral and disrespectful people that view women as objects, existing only for a man’s enjoyment. Rape culture and harassment cannot be stopped by mere punishment for offenders or empowering women; we need to stop it before it starts.
For the longest time, our mothers have used the expression, “Boys will be boys.” This phrase has long since been used to excuse fights, harassment, and all other types of inappropriate behavior. Yes, it has been scientifically proven that males are biologically inclined to reproduce, and that the male mind is programmed to find a potential mate, but this cannot happen any longer. These impulses are something one has to learn to control. As children we have to learn to share and control the impulse to take toys we want away from other toddlers. It is a learned behavior. Resisting to catcall and harass women can be done, and this “boys will be boys” mentality can no longer be an excuse.
During this charged interview, Santagati stated that women should stand up for themselves if they don’t like to be catcalled, and ask those who do to stop and leave them alone. A perturbed Seales fired back with, "a woman got killed the other day for doing that in Detroit, actually. You sir, do not know what you're talking about." Seales was referring to Mary Spears, a 27 year-old woman that was shot to death when she refused to give her phone number to a catcaller. Santagati responded with, “well she should have carried a gun." I have no words. This type of logic I cannot, and will not, accept. A woman should not have to carry a gun to be safe from men. This is not acceptable. What is needed is for men to step up. Men need to be educated that women are their equals and need to be treated with respect. This issue goes hand in hand with anti-rape campaigns: yes, you can give a woman emergency contraceptives, but isn’t it more effective to cut off the problem at the roots?
America needs to change the way their boys are raised. From the beginning of their lives, violent behavior has been excused, and to some extent, encouraged. The video game industry has thrived with boys playing games from a young age that objectify women and teach them it’s okay to hit them or have their way with them. This needs to change. Recently we have seen male celebrities take a stand and begin to campaign that “no means no” and “no more excuses” are acceptable. This is a start, but if we really want to improve women’s treatment and equality, we need to stop this behavior and mindset before it begins. By educating men in America from a young age, we teach them that women are not to be objectified; they are to be treated as an equal, with the due respect that they deserve.
